From Here to Better

A Total Me Year: February 2025 – February 2026

For the next year, I’m making myself the priority. No dating apps, no searching for someone else to complete me—just me, rebuilding, growing, and becoming the person I want to be. This is the year of self-exploration, of diving deep into my psyche, uncovering the parts of myself I’ve ignored or hidden. Because if I want to be a better person—not just for myself, but for others—I need to do the work now. We all think we have time to change, but the truth is, the only time we have is now.

Recently, I experienced rejection. I was ghosted (rightfully so), and it hurt more than I expected. Going from friendly banter to silence was a tough pill to swallow. I wanted to rewind time, to take back a moment, a word, a choice. But life doesn’t work that way—you can’t unthrow a stone. That experience forced me to take a hard look at myself, to acknowledge the moments where I could have handled things better. And as uncomfortable as that realization was, it was necessary.

At one point, this person said to me, “Wow, you have already had so many life experiences.” That wasn’t a compliment. It was a realization. A moment that made me pause. It wasn’t admiration—it was an observation that I’ve been through a lot, maybe too much. And for the first time, I saw it through someone else’s eyes. It made me recognize that while I’ve been living, experiencing, and pushing forward, I haven’t always been growing in the right ways. I’ve been moving, but not necessarily healing.

I realize now that I can’t look for a relationship to fulfill me. I can’t expect someone else to come in and make me feel whole. That’s something I have to do for myself. And if I’m being honest, I haven’t been doing that—not really. Lately, I’ve been stuck, and I know exactly why.

Winter is always the hardest time for me. It’s cold, it’s isolating, and all the things I love—hiking, kayaking, fishing, exploring, just being outside—are stripped away. I’m an outdoorsy person at my core, and when I can’t do the things that bring me joy, I start searching for something else to fill the void. For too long, that something else has been relationships, distractions, anything to keep me from sitting with myself. But this winter, I’m doing things differently. Instead of searching outward, I’m turning inward.

I’ve already grown so much over the last four years, becoming a single mom to a beautiful daughter and navigating challenges I never saw coming. I adapted, I pushed forward, and I proved my own strength. And while I’d say I’m already a pretty great mom (because let’s be honest, I am), I know this journey of self-discovery will only make me a better one. The more I heal, grow, and understand myself, the better I can show up for her—not just as her mother, but as the role model she deserves.

This blog is my space to document that journey—to explore myself, to reflect, to hold myself accountable. Oddly enough, I have that rejection to thank for waking me up to this realization.

One of the first steps I’ve taken is diving into books that challenge my mindset, starting with two by Brianna Wiest:

• The Mountain Is You – This book is about self-sabotage and why we do it. It explores the ways we create our own obstacles, sometimes without realizing it, and how we can break those patterns to truly change our lives. The biggest takeaway so far? That change isn’t just about wanting it—it’s about becoming the kind of person who can sustain it. Growth isn’t just about doing better next time; it’s about rewiring the way you think, so you don’t keep repeating the same mistakes. That hit hard.
• 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think – This one is a deep dive into shifting perspectives, challenging old thought patterns, and re-evaluating the way we see ourselves and the world. It talks about things like emotional intelligence, self-awareness, and how our habits and daily choices shape our entire lives. One essay that really stuck with me was about how we often wait for happiness to come after some big milestone—after we get the job, the relationship, the success. But happiness is a now thing. If you can’t find contentment in the present, you won’t find it anywhere. That one stopped me in my tracks.

But reading (or listening) isn’t enough. I can absorb all the information in the world, but real change happens through action.

So, I’m making a list—a reading list to expand my mind, a bucket list to get me out of my head. Over the next year, I’ll be tackling them both, and this blog will be where I share what I learn along the way. The highs, the struggles, the uncomfortable truths—all of it.

This isn’t about finding someone. It’s about finding me.

Here’s to a year of becoming. Here’s to better.

Best,
Kate