From Here to Better

He still creeps into my mind from time to time. Not in the I want him back kind of way, but in the why did he leave like that? kind of way. The silence, the sudden disappearing act—it still lingers in the back of my mind if I let it. But the thing is, I’m getting stronger by the day. The thoughts come, but they don’t stay as long. The overthinking happens, but I don’t let it take over. I’m learning to release it instead of ruminate on it.

And in the meantime, I’ve been pouring into me.

I’ve been hitting the gym four to five times a week, and honestly, it feels incredible. It’s no longer just about looking better—it’s about feeling better, about proving to myself that I can do hard things, about making myself strong in every way.

I’ve also been pushing myself to get out of my comfort zone. I invited a coworker to line dancing lessons next week—something I probably wouldn’t have done before. She’s bringing her husband, which gave me an even better idea—why not invite the whole in-person office? The more the merrier, right? It’s such a fun, lighthearted activity, and honestly, watching people attempt to line dance is highly entertaining.

And tomorrow, concert night with my bestie. Music speaks to my soul in a way nothing else does. I can’t wait to rock out, let loose, and just be completely present in the moment.

But here’s the biggest takeaway from all of this—this whole ghosting situation made me realize how important I am.

I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I needed to before. I was distracted, caught up in things that didn’t serve me, letting my energy get drained by people who weren’t giving me the same in return. And now, I have more time, more clarity, more appreciation for my own company.

Sure, I might have slight trust issues now (haha), but I’m also giving myself exactly what I needed all along—time, space, and love. Spending time with myself doesn’t feel like something I should do, it feels like something I want to do.

So, to the guy who ghosted me, thank you. Thank you for making me realize I needed to make changes, for unintentionally pushing me toward a better version of myself. You disappeared, but I finally showed up for me.

Here’s to change. Here’s to self-love. Here’s to better.